Point Blank!

Hey guys. It's been quite a long time since I typed anything of much significant consequence... and i have received a reasonable number of cribs and complains regarding the same. So here's one for my dear Blog-loving-humour enjoying-pal-of a guy- Varun.

Point Blank:

This article I address to my arch nemesis: Stage Fear
We've all been there right? You've got your whole jig by-heart. If a dude steps up to you and asks you "What's the 82nd syllable in Paragaph 2?" You would coolly say "The Schwa". And then you go on stage and raise your eyes to see behind the black blotch of a mike and see the god damned crowd. And then its balls to the Schwa! You can't manage to remember whether its Good Morning or Good Afternoon or Goodnight!
There is a phase in most people's life where they go on stage and reach Point Blank(that's when your drooling and thinking what YOU are doing on stage and have no idea what to say when a crowd of several thousands(appears to be in thousands though its a few tens eh?) is staring you squarely in the eyes). What's worse? if you've read my blogs you would know by now why i call my Blog the psyche files.
It's because my mind is a Pscycho-drome of innumerable and rapid immaculate, inexplicable thoughts hitting my brain like the wind blowing opposite the direction of the straight at Gilles Villenueve when you're speeding down its straights at 300 kmph!
To such a mind, the scene of distracting, psychotic thoughts during an important pick and speak competition is never too pretty. Especially when the entire audience thinks you are a decent looking guy who will shower them with talks of intelligence. When i usually go Extempore on stage, this is the usual syntax of my string of f**ked-up thoughts:
What sort of a topic is "I.T in schools!" Nobody taught me IT at school
Damn thats a large audience
Gross! That dude in the last bench is picking his nose!
Whoa my legs are trembling.
I wonder whether they'll tremble faster if I stand on my toes!Yup! They will!
Focus Suraj! Focus!
Crap I've got only thirty-f**kin'-six seconds left to think!
I should put a check on my profanity... its evil.
I like Evil... it has an overpowering way of defining several respectable idiosyncracies!
"You may now begin"
What The F??
"Uh hi...I'm Suraj from so and so class"
Whoa... I am sooo screwed!!
The End!
Hehehehe... not to pretty huh? told you so... now, if you've been patiently going through all this... firstly thank you and secondly, here's the tip:
The trick in Extempore is in going on that stage and not thinking twice before saying exactly that which crosses your mind: If i would have actually said aloud exactly what i was thinking, I would atleast manage a decent score thanks to the humour though I would be venturing absolutely nowhere to even the outskirts of the given topic!